I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
