Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
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