i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
