i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Life is so much better after having sex.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
