Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We got so high we made milksteak
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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