i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
