Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
no you cant smoke seaweed
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
