i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Randomize
