FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
