cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
