We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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