Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
