do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
