The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
