Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
