i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize