you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
