I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just want to make out with him forever
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
