No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
