we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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