I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
