U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
