good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
