I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
