I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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