Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
