it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
