they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
