Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
God I need to hump something, right now.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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