Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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