Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
whose parrot is this?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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