i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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