I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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