: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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