No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
