i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
