I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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