Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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