i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We don't watch enough power rangers
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
