He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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