I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
