Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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