He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
