Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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