I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
