Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
