that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
