Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
