Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
