this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
