I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
