So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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